first anniversary

D and I celebrated our first year of marriage with the cool air and steep roads of the Smokies. There were lazy mornings in the cabin, afternoon rain storms, lots of tennis-shoe-wearing, and a little too much eating. On Sunday morning, we hiked to the highest point of the Smokies. I had a pretty good whine going on until we spotted the grandmother hauling it ahead of us. Motivating, to say the least.

During the weekend, I thought a lot about what an incredible blessing our entire engagement and wedding process was. Our families, our wedding party, and all those who generously celebrated with us - their words and time will never be forgotten. I was wishing to be in a big room with all of them at one time. Maybe that's how anniversaries should really be celebrated.

It has been the best and fastest year of my life. A year full of change and lessons and newness. Here's to many, many more.

frame of mind

Simply, moving a sizable distance from anyone and anything of familiarity is both great and terrible. Exciting and heartbreaking. It's a lot like choosing to move away for college. Or committing to a summer at Pine Cove without knowing a soul. For me, those kind of decisions have always been easy make (yes, let's go and let's do) and heart-wrenching to carry-out. And they've always been for the very best.

The problem with the excitement and heartbreak is that you never know which one is going to strike you and when. I've noticed its the small things. I feel a rush of comfort when we're getting in the car and waving to all of our neighbors who happened to be outside at the same time: Reverend Doug and Mrs. Gloria who have lived across the street for over thirty years and our quirky and talkative next door neighbor, Ramsey, who still says, "Hi Dustin and Rachel!" when he sees us. Still. Or sometimes its the feeling of the cool Carolina mornings or driving over big hills or authentically connecting with people as we visit churches. Its raising the screen on the back bedroom window and kissing D while he's working in the backyard [praise Jesus for Saturdays]. And its especially the closeness it brings to our relationship as we share those excitements and the tough parts too.

The tough parts? Missing people. And meeting new ones. And not having a church home. Also wishing that Sister from Where the Heart Is would drive up in her pick-up turned covered wagon and hand me a welcome basket. She'd especially be able to tell that I'm new if she saw me in the grocery store. I'd be staring at all the aisle markers with one of those "I don't know where anything is in the store" face.

Through it all, I'm learning to not live for the normalcy that I just love to cling to. Or believing that life is only truly happy in those picture-worthy moments: the family in front of the perfectly decorated Christmas tree or the arrival of new babies or fiftieth anniversaries. Though it may not be true, the pictures that you choose to frame usually give the illusion that everything has a time and a place and a routine making this transition time seem, well, not-so-picturesque. But I know my attitude towards the hours spent filling our front porch with to-be-recycled packing paper will matter more than how I respond when we hang the last painting or finally buy a sofa or actually have friends over for dinner. Maybe instead of wedding pictures, I'll fill our walls with an 8x10 of cardboard boxes. Or us eating on the floor while watching TV [which was also on the floor]. Or even a nice shot of air mattresses. Here's to embracing transition.

thanks to D

This post's purpose is not to fool you into thinking I have the perfect husband or that we have the perfect marriage. We are two incredibly imperfect people.

This post's purpose is not foster any form of comparison. Every relationship is different, and all of them have mountains as well as valleys. And we so stink at being anything good sometimes.

This post's purpose is to thank D and to thank him publicly. After celebrating so many weddings and other exciting milestones, I've learned the importance of saying something. And, even more so, saying it in front of others as a blessing. Not to say that private blessings are insignificant, but we'll save whispering those sweet nothings for another time, ok? Ok. 

Last week was a bad week, and I don't normally have bad weeks. But last week was one if I've ever lived it. The Lord using D in my life was my saving grace - of that I am sure.

Thank you to D for...

• Not letting the fact that I cried more days last week than not freak you out. 
• Your calming spirit.
• Not saying, "well, are you not going to ask me about my day?!" when I was too wrapped up in my own dramas.
• Tirelessly encouraging me to spend time in the Word even when I had sleepy, heavy eyes. 
• Being totally fine with the fact that I blew your perfectly balanced budget on comfort food in the form of frozen yogurt. 
• Staying with me and the rest of two-years-olds after your Pastor Search Team meeting which you totally didn't sign up for.
• Not being discouraged by my totally downer of a self. Or at least not showing it. 
• Being awesome at doing the dishes. 
• Saving me a part of your St. Patty's Day cupcake even though I had devoured my own a couple days earlier.
• Your example of diligence and perseverance in the face of senior design projects, family responsibilities, and church duties.
• Praying for me. 

 Praise God for using your encouragement and answering your prayers.

This week, I pray...

• That the Lord will bless you and keep you, that He will make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you (Numbers 6:24-25). 
• That you will be strengthened by grace that is Christ (2 Timothy 2:1). 
• That you would be strong, courageous, unafraid, and encouraged (Joshua 1:9). 
• That you would continue to pursue graciousness, compassion, and righteousness (Psalm 112:4). 
• That you would be filled with the knowledge of His will (Colossians 1:9).
• That blessings would come from hearing the Word of God and obeying it (Luke 11:28).
•  That the Lord would keep you from harm (Psalm 121:7).
• That the Lord would fill me with His grace in order to be able to love you better, to put you before myself, and to bless each of your days.

clean sweep

I've never been very tidy.

Some friends and family would consider it an understatement. I like to blame it on being a little bit of a free spirit. I'll admit that, in the past few years, I've come to truly appreciate a clean and organized room. If she's reading this, I'm not positive that my mom is still breathing at this point. Even more lately, this whole being [read: trying to be] adult-ish and a newlywedded wife has squeezed out some responsibility in the form of tidiness.

On Sunday, we watched the Giants [and Madonna] win with Mallory, Brandon, and Nicholas [D's two brothers and our sister-in-law]. We had the best time catching up on our very different jobs and their recent vacation and every one's big dreams for the future all while loving on some puppies and eating a whole lot of guacamole. But after Eli got the keys to his shiny new convertible, I felt like we needed to go. Lurking in the back of my mind was the fact that I somehow managed to get avocado on every surface of our kitchen before rushing out the door, and it was now slowly turning into a permanent greenish brown crust on our counters. Too much detail?

I'm not OK with that feeling being a recurring experience. The feeling that we should go home and clean and have everything nice and tidy to start another busy week. I don't want those needs to hold precedent over time spent with family or friends or our church community or neighbors or one another. I want to rid myself of those worries when I have the opportunities like last night - to have precious back-to-back one-on-one time with dear friends on a Monday evening [love you Bec Griggs and Meg Hope].

So. In the spirit of not eating the bread of idleness and not letting this new [and good] habit of tidiness interfere with fleeting minutes of face time all while actually keeping the apartment enjoyably organized and guest-ready, I made a list. Surprised? I didn't think so. I love a list. Hopefully this one will balance responsibility and community [with a heavy lean to the latter].

Download your own here.

Here's to no more Saturdays spent cleaning all day because we ignored it all week. Here's to no "dirty house" anxiety while trying to enjoy real, breathing, loving people. And here's to good ol' grown up responsibility. Where did you come from?

And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to call my mother and make sure she's still conscious.

big news + big changes

No baby, y'all. You'll just have to keep reading for a few more years for that announcement [but my sister did find out this week that they're having another girl! YEA!!].

Come May or June, this little Jenkins family will be, for the first time ever, establishing residence outside of Louisiana. The Lord has so graciously provided a job for D as a mechanical engineer with Albemarle, Inc. in Columbia, South Carolina. Even after telling our families, friends, bosses, and church family, typing this is making it seem even more like reality.

Soon we'll be looking for a place to call home in a city we've never experienced, Google mapping the nearest grocery store, visiting new churches, meeting new faces. I'll probably get lost a bunch, and Dustin will gently explain how to get from here to there once again. Dustin will have an 8 to 5 job and the luxury of being home in the evenings. That will be new. And incredible. We'll constantly pray for direction to a church community and [try to] wait patiently as our faithful Lord provides. We'll be thrilled about finally getting to spend Saturdays together, and I'll start planning all the places we can take day trips to [Charleston, Myrtle Beach, Charlotte, Atlanta, Savannah].

I look forward to meeting those new faces, sitting around the dinner table filled with both low country and Cajun recipes, and experiencing those soul-binding moments when you figure out you have an odd, shared interest. But I know when I remember the faces whose features are etched onto my heart after so much life-sharing, there will be aches. And when I'm shopping over 700 miles away from them and see something that I know they'd like, I'll wish they were there. But, in that moment, I'll be thankful that community has the ability to stretch but survive. And maybe I'll overnight it to them. I've done long distance before, and I'll do it again.

But we're not breaking out the cardboard boxes yet. D doesn't graduate for another 17 weeks, 3 days, 18 hours, 47 minutes and 29 seconds. I'm compelled, more than ever, to truly cherish the time we have left in Baton Rouge, to spend time with our loved ones that are near, to visit parents and grandparents, to get lunch with friends and kiss their babies, to soak up the presence and wisdom of our church community, to get really good at Louisiana cooking, and to actually go to the Baton Rouge Farmer's Market for once. Going is so exciting. And leaving makes me heartsick.

There are very few details right now other than Dustin has the job, and we're moving sometime after he graduates. What is certain and obvious is the Lord's guiding and provisional plan. We both agree that this is the biggest change we've ever made [along with marriage]. When we began the process of praying through the different job options, we wondered if we could be sure. They were all good opportunities, but we didn't just want to pick our favorite. Never have I felt the Lord's guiding hand so strongly on our backs, helping us take the next step until, all of a sudden, the decision was made and the contracts were signed. We are thankful for the assurance and thankful for this faith-deepening experience and thankful for the provision of a job. We are so excited to still be the same distance from my sister and her family which provides and great half-way point for my parents. And we are excited that D's grandmother owns a cabin near our new home, giving all the Jenkinses lots of reasons to road trip.  And we are excited because living in His plan is the best!

finding time and satisfaction

Let me preface this by saying I apologize for the length. But I hope you are blessed. And maybe you have a similar journey to satisfaction:

Please excuse my absence. Let's blame it on two things. First, the fact that I've been all pitiful and sickly with some of the cold and sinus business. Don't worry, a nice shot in the hind parts from a male nurse [EMBARRASSING] and a hot pink horse pill is seeming to do the trick. Secondly, D has had a tiny bit more free time this week, and we've been taking advantage of that while wallowing in our shared sickness.

We've done things like...
-Celebrated our two year dating anniversary [I celebrate everything, OK?] with some good Italian food. I was a little peeved on the way because it was November and hot outside. So D cranked up the air conditioning and blared some of 96.1's Christmas tunes. I was gladly shivering by the time we got home.
-Went to Sam's for a bottle of wine [classy, I know] and spent an extra hour in the Christmas section. Excited. Doesn't. Cover. It.
-Worked our plastic gloves and stick-on name tags while working the dessert table at CrossPoint's Thanksgiving celebration on Wednesday night. Wonderful fellowship with our wonderful church family. And I baked my first lattice-topped apple pie from scratch. Easy peasy. Here's my crummy phone photo which was taken in the car on my lap on the way to church:

-For our exciting Friday night, we fed this sickness with breakfast for dinner and three hours of Lord of the Rings. D's a big fan, and I had never seen them. They weren't too bad. Not my normal Steel Magnolias/Pride and Prejudice/Mona Lisa Smile style. I think I finally got all of their names right by the end.
-I did wear some of my new red lipstick for our little at-home date night. Meaning half of the movie was spent telling myself that I can indeed wear it without looking like a clown. I am a reproduction of my grandmother, and she rocks it at almost 90. I think I can. I think I can. I think...

For this semester, that is a pretty incredible list for us. Many weeks, there is not a moment of free time in my poor hubs' schedule. Amidst the sweetness of newlywed life, there have been difficulties. Difficulties for our good. Difficulties whose presence are becoming more and more obvious.

This is a lesson the Lord has taught me in several different situations. It concerns satisfaction. Maybe, next time, I'll use some God-given wisdom and head this one off beforehand. Throughout my teenage and adult life, the Lord has shown me over and over again that true and full satisfaction can absolutely only be found in walking daily with Him. My first thought when I type this is an overwhelming thankfulness for the fact that He even allows this closeness of relationship. What a gracious and loving God. While I strive for this, I let many of the Lord's blessing take up some of that satisfying space that He deserves all of. Story of my life. From family, to friends, to abilities - I'm familiar with this slow learning process. And, of course, I'm learning again with this new life-addition: a husband.

The difficulty lies in the fact that D's love and selflessness and service and attention is incredibly satisfying. And I thank the Lord for a husband with those qualities. But then he has to work until eleven at night or fly to different states for job interviews or stay on campus to work with his senior project group. Then the one, who I'm receiving a portion of satisfaction from, is absent. This is in no way blame to D. I'm continually amazed at his attitude and stamina and ability to find time to be an great partner with a jam-packed schedule. But he is not called or expected to be the primary source of this in my life. We really are two sinners who have said, "I do." And when we talk about this little issue of mine, he points me to an all-sufficient God.

So that's the big-ticket item the Lord is kneading into my heart and mind. At the end of this lesson-journey, there is sweet and urgent satisfaction. Sweet because of a more intimate walk with the Lord and a step towards looking more like Him in life and in relationships. Urgent because this life is fleeting, and the only reason I have this available satisfaction is because of Jesus' supreme and atoning sacrifice. How I wish to not waste a day of that ultimate blessing and for the Lord to receive the glory that He deserves.

Here are a few of many verses to which I can cling:

Whom do I have in heaven but you? I desire no one but you on earth. My flesh and my heart may grow weak, but God always protects my heart and gives me stability. Psalm 73:25

Blessed is the one you choose and bring near, to dwell in your courts! We shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house, the holiness of your temple! Psalm 65:4

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Matthew 5:6

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:11-13


Thanks for walking through that with me.

bucket list

As a part of this little mini face-lift, I've added some pages and links underneath our blog banner. I wanted to quickly share our way of keeping our bucket list which you can find here.

Like the page says, we were [like many engaged couples] big dreaming of what this life is going to look like as we were wrapping our minds around the fact that we get to share it. Forever. Lord willing.

In high school, I had a thin, heavily creased piece of paper tucked away in my wallet with a list of life goals. When Dustin and I started comparing notes and merging lists, it turned into a quick craft project. Shocker.

I used:

• A cheap spiral-bound sketch book off Hobby Lobby's clearance rack
• A scrap of muslin fabric [super inexpensive and gives it that natural look] [next time I would cut it using pinking shears]
• My typewriter alphabet stamps and black ink pad
• Two colors of cross-stitching fabric [and a needle, of course]

For the front, I measured how much fabric it would take to wrap the strip around the entire cover and secure on the inside. I marked off the area that would show on the front so I could have my title centered. I stamped the words, obviously, and stitched the bucket.

Don't let the embroidery scare you. I am no expert, yet I incorporate this into craft projects fairly often. I have found that the back stitch is simple while still looking solid. You can draw or trace your design with a light pencil before it if would make you feel better. I probably should have done that here - my bucket got a little crooked.

After it was all done, I secured it on the inside cover by hot gluing the two ends together and then then the strip to the cover.

I wanted the book to not only hold our list, but memories of times when we checked off those items. For each goal that we had on our list so far, I designated a page for it with the alphabet stamps. I don't seem to have the stamina for all of scrapbooking's layers and stickers and paper, so I plan for this to be a simple photo glued to the page and a recap of the best moments.

Here's to stuffing that book starting...now.

grilled pizza

Though I sometimes feel like I see my husband about 36 minutes weekly, I have actually gotten to cook for him a few times. And use all those shiny new gadgets that we feel undeserving to have. But our tiny little kitchen is very grateful. I think it makes it feel prettier.

Let's talk about how much I love grilled pizza. It's a new found love. It didn't take long, and I didn't hate myself like I do after most pizza-gorging. And, yes, it can be done on a George Foreman.

You will need:
Pizza dough [I used Pillsbury that I got with a coupon]
Fresh vegetables - rustically chopped
           Tomatoes, zucchini, garlic, onion, and more!
Sliced or shredded mozzarella
Pesto
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Parmesean
Fresh basil

As little of chopping as possible gives that great rustic texture. And a little S&P when grilling.

I cover them in tin foil and set them inside the oven until needed. The oven isn't on, so I'm not really sure how it helps. It's just what my grandmother has always done. And, when it comes to cooking, you don't question Loyce. 

The pizza dough could not have been easier. Make sure to keep it refrigerated until you are ready to grill. Shape it into the size of your grilling area. Brush the grill with EVOO and place the dough on top. I closed it in the George for 1-2 minutes. The top will begin to look puffy. If the dough releases easily from the grill with tongs and is decently stiff on the underside, it's ready to flip.

It makes the most delicious dough. Soft center, slightly crunchy outside, and that grilled taste. YUM. 

It should look something like this...

The other side of the dough will grill after you add the toppings. This also helps to press them down and somewhat stay in place so you don't look like a total monster attempting to eat it.

This was after I tried to strategically slide the pizza onto my platter. The garnish serves two roles: makes it more delish and hides the travel scars.

And if you happen to have your entire [and AMAZING] wedding cake topper that you only had the will power to save until you made one month of marriage, it pairs nicely.

Enjoy!

the honeymoon revisited: part two

I guess I should give all of our excursions their moment in the sun. I am so obsessed with our last experience of the trip, that I can hardly wait to write about it. And, yes, I realize that I am a complete lunatic.

Ok. In Costa Maya we walked around, souvenir shopped and laid in those picturesque hammocks. In Roatan, Honduras, we had a lovely little private island with rescued wildlife [up close and personal with sea lions!], the most beautiful water I've ever seen, and a killer lunch buffet where we were baffled that we couldn't go back for seconds [cruise-spoiled]. And in Belize we rode a charmingly janky bus into the Belizean jungle for over an hour. Me - terrified, Dustin - thrilled. I just new we were going to discover some unseen, ginormous species of snake on our Mayan cave tour. I panicked a little more as they suited us up with a harness, helmet, and head lamp and chilled out a bit as we started hiking up Central America mountains and crawling through old old caves. After we got through the first repel, I was happy to zipline and trample across some rope bridges from then on.

Alright now that that's done, let's talk about Cozumel. I keep saying that Cozumel was the best experience of my life, but then I remembered that I stood on stage and married my BFFL [<-- that is a joke] just a few days earlier. So, yes, the wedding/marriage excitement totally trumps this. But it's the SECOND best moment of my life.

We swam. with. DOLPHINS. For some background, I've been a long-time dolphin lover. And though I have friends that rag on me for it, I'm proud of my childhood dolphin figurine collection. That sounds so much more lame when I type it. At some point during junior high or high school, I thought it a good idea to make a life to-do list, a bucket list (though I didn't know that it was called this until that Jack Nicholson/Morgan Freeman movie). Number one on this list: swimming with dolphins. Really deep and meaningful, I know. But all I can say now is check, check, CHECK!

I'm pretty sure the people in our group thought I was a complete idiot. I continually waved to Athena [our dolphin] while everyone else listened to directions like normal people. Poor Dustin. Hopefully my excitement only enhanced his experience. I was the first to get a kiss from Athena and yelled, "that was awesome!" which my whole group laughed at. I supposedly hugged her a little more passionately than instructed. And the instructor may have had to pull me off of her when I didn't let go early enough at the end of the ride. I'm probably flagged at Dolphinaris as a hazardous visitor. It was well worth it. This could possibly [but hopefully not] be a once in a lifetime experience. Gotta live it up!

Afterwards, we headed back to our home at sea for our afternoon ritual: Dustin watching all the embarkation mechanics while I journaled the days memories. I think I filled up an entire page about Athena, and I knew that I had caught the new adventure/experience bug. And, in that moment, that desire to live this life to its very fullest became so much sweeter because I knew that I'd always, if the Lord wills it, have Dustin to share it with. I got anxious to step off that boat and into this brand new life we now shared. What a loving God we serve. He began this journey as a rich blessing and promises to uphold and guide us through every turn, both slight and sharp. And that's all for the mush. We've just got this party started!

hello, new world

Excuse me as I brush the dust off my keyboard.

There is so much to tell. Not that you are waiting breathlessly to hear or anything. It's just that I've decided, as the memories of these last 3 weeks continue to bounce around in my brain, that I have nearly poisoned myself with the need to process and write in order to remember. But maybe there is some good in that poison bottle. With so much change, I'll take as long as needed to recap and solidify these sweet sweet memories that fill the past 21 days. They are to never be forgotten.

Hopefully you'll bare with me as I do so. I'm holding my grip at the end of His pen as our Author has begun this new volume of our life at an incredibly swift pace. And I won't let these moments-captured slip into the folds of the pages. They are too good! He has made written them all too well.

One day I'll mentally catch up with my life that has entertained more change than ever before in my twenty-two years. That effort begins now!

So, for now, marriage began sweetly and sweetens daily. That's thanks to incredible family and community that surrounded us on August 6th and continue to do so today. That's thanks to a loving, patient, and fun new hubs. That's thanks to a Savior who has poured His grace and mercy on this entire process. I will elaborate soon.

For the record - marriage is a blast. And I'm doing my best to keep enjoying this unpacking process. D makes it pretty easy too. For example, when deciding where to put his speakers, he said [in all seriousness], "Yea, this room is good because we can have our dance parties in here."

It's going to be a good life.



P.S. I'm itching for a new blog title/URL name/etc. I want to keep up with these changing times!